认定
唐纳德·豪尔
老去就是失去一切。
变老，人人都知道是怎么回事。
就是在年轻时，
我们有时也瞧见过，当某个祖父死去，
我们低垂着头。
其后很多年我们在仲夏的池塘
划船，无知而快活。但是一个婚姻，
开始的时候没有伤害，却在岸上
四散如屑，
一个学校的朋友从海边峭壁上
跌落变得僵冷。
如果一场新的爱情带我们
走过中年，我们的妻子将会
在她最强健和最美的时候死去。
新的女人来来去去。全都走掉。
那美丽的情人宣称
她是临时的
就真的是过客。那无畏的女人，
中年抵着我们的老年，
沉入她无法抵抗的焦虑中。
另一个十载之交的朋友与世隔绝
躲到文字中贻害了三十年光阴。
让我们在池塘边的泥地里窒息
认定失去一切
是自然而然，妙不可言。
Affirmation by Donald Hall
To grow old is to lose everything.
Aging, everybody knows it.
Even when we are young,
we glimpse it sometimes, and nod our heads
when a grandfather dies.
Then we row for years on the midsummer
pond, ignorant and content. But a marriage,
that began without harm, scatters
into debris on the shore,
and a friend from school drops
cold on a rocky strand.
If a new love carries us
past middle age, our wife will die
at her strongest and most beautiful.
New women come and go. All go.
The pretty lover who announces
that she is temporary
is temporary. The bold woman,
middle-aged against our old age,
sinks under an anxiety she cannot withstand.
Another friend of decades estranges himself
in words that pollute thirty years.
Let us stifle under mud at the pond's edge
and affirm that it is fitting
and delicious to lose everything.
注1：Even when we are young, /we glimpse it sometimes, and nod our heads /when a grandfather dies. 唐纳德和祖父感情很好，祖父同他田间劳动间为他读诗。祖父的去世给他最早留下了死亡的印记。
注2：If a new love carries us /past middle age, our wife will die /at her strongest and most beautiful. 唐纳德的妻子简●凯尼恩在47岁时去世，正值中年，气质才貌炉火纯青。
补注1：向来评述解说别人的作品不是我的所擅长，我宁愿默默回味。可是这首诗我想多说几句。这是一首沉痛的诗，如果不对唐纳德的其妻的生活约略了解，很难体会诗人的沉痛。唐纳德自称写诗很慢，往往一作初成，要放到抽屉里几个月甚至经年。这首诗也是煅炼的浓缩了诗人后半生最强烈的感受：
If a new love carries us
past middle age, our wife will die
at her strongest and most beautiful.
我第一次读到这几句时极度震撼，它如此强烈，似乎又不合逻辑。事实上，简是唐纳德的第二任妻子，他们结婚时，唐纳德要比简年长22岁，已是中年。婚后不久，二人移居回唐纳德祖辈居住的农场。唐纳德自称他是到了47岁以后诗艺方入化境，而简也是生活在鹰池农场后，找到了自己诗的源泉：在自然中投入内心细腻感受。自然、爱情、诗歌，他们拥有人间最美的事物。中国人说，凡事不能占全，不然老天要妒忌，要收回的。是的，天意往往残忍，它让悲哀行在世上，好让人心怀念、梦想幸福和完美。人在中年获得爱情，诗神的青睐，可谓幸福之至，而上天夺走你的同伴，让你在悲苦中回味幸福，此痛何堪？
补注2：
The bold woman,
middle-aged against our old age,
sinks under an anxiety she cannot withstand.
简多年挣扎在抑郁焦虑的阴影中，这也许和她的疾病与早逝不无关系。和普拉司的强悍比起来，简是一个柔和，甚至有些甜美的女诗人。可是正如人间的是往往真实和表象是二律背反的悖论，柔弱的人往往固执倔强，而血气方刚者有他宽和随意的一面。唐纳德没有说简sinks under illness，而是anxiety，作为两次癌症患者而至今生存，他知道疾病与生命的关系。摧毁我们的往往不是肉体的病痛，而是心灵的煎熬。
野草和牡丹
唐纳德·豪尔
你的牡丹盛放，白得如同暴雪，
红色的斑点点缀在毛茸茸的花心
在门廊边，你的美景的边缘。
我带着一朵饱满绽放的花儿进屋
让它浮在一只玻璃碗中，像你往常那样。
平常的愉悦，回忆中的惬意
像飘雪吹近荒芜的花园，
掩盖了雏菊。你的兰色外套
沿着池塘路消失在想象的雪花中
还有噶斯陪伴在你身旁，摇摆着它的大尾巴。
可是你不会重现，倦了也知足了，
悲痛那无尽的微尘漫舞在空气里——
像狗儿彻夜狂吠，
或是猫儿清醒着舒展，然后蜷缩
好象梦到了它妈妈多乳的奶头。
一只浣熊从罐中拔出一株天竺葵。
花、根和泥土倾倒在
后花园，在那里百合开始
它们每日石墙上的巡游
在旧日玫瑰盛开的季节。我在野草
和如雪的牡丹中踱步，凝视着基爾薩吉峰
你曾穿着紫色的登山靴攀登。
‘快回来。小心，爬下来。”
你的牡丹将它们巨大的花盏西倾
好象就要跌倒。有些跌倒了。
Weeds and Peonies
Donald Hall
Your peonies burst out, white as snow squalls,
with red flecks at their shaggy centers
in your border of prodigies by the porch.
I carry one magnanimous blossom indoors
and float it in a glass bowl, as you used to do.
Ordinary pleasures, contentment recollected,
blow like snow into the abandoned garden,
overcoming the daisies. Your blue coat
vanishes down Pond Road into imagined snowflakes
with Gus at your side, his great tail swinging,
but you will not reappear, tired and satisfied,
and grief's repeated particles suffuse the air —
like the dog yipping through the entire night,
or the cat stretching awake, then curling
as if to dream of her mother's milky nipples.
A raccoon dislodged a geranium from its pot.
Flowers, roots, and dirt lay upended
in the back garden where lilies begin
their daily excursion above stone walls
in the season of old roses. I pace beside weeds
and snowy peonies, staring at Mount Kearsarge
where you climbed wearing purple hiking boots.
"Hurry back. Be careful, climbing down."
Your peonies lean their vast heads westward
as if they might topple. Some topple.
注：Gus是唐纳德和简的狗
黄昏里的牡丹
简·凯尼恩
白牡丹沿着门廊盛开
发出明光
而剩下的院子都变得昏暗。
怒放的花朵大得像
人头！ 它们被自己的繁茂
压的发慌：我得用
棍和线把它们撑起。
湿润的空气让香气更加浓郁，
月亮绕着谷仓寻找
哪来的这芬芳。
在渐渐深沉的六月之夜
我牵过一枝盛开的花，倾身
探询，如同一个女人
探求心爱之人的脸庞。
Peonies at Dusk
Jane Kenyon
White peonies blooming along the porch
send out light
while the rest of the yard grows dim.
Outrageous flowers as big as human
heads! They're staggered
by their own luxuriance: I had
to prop them up with stakes and twine.
The moist air intensifies their scent,
and the moon moves around the barn
to find out what it's coming from.
In the darkening June evening
I draw a blossom near, and bending close
search it as a woman searches
a loved one's face.
宁玉/译
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